The current free ebook is located at this link:
http://haggishell.com/ridgeproject.pdf

For details about the ebook, click here.

130721. This is a letter that I sent to an associate a few minutes ago.

It's about 5:30am on Sunday morning. I started writing this at about 3:45am. Took a few breaks. I'm sipping a soft drink with zero calories as the words appear. The soft drink is part of an effort to reduce calories. There's more than one reason for this.

I can feel the breathing-shock physical issue but it's distant. It's simply waving at my body to say hello. I'm being told that I'm mortal and that I should value Time.

I'm looking at a letter that you sent me on Tuesday. Your letter is only six paragraphs long, excluding salutation etc. However, before I respond to it, I'll need to fast, to meditate, and to take related steps. The need for such measures is the reason that the blog spoke recently of a decreased presence.

Things didn't work out that way as interesting events have continued.

I wasn't meant to withstand events that were so interesting for so long. It's beyond the design specifications. But some of the events have been remarkable. Even this past week.

Read, if you wish, the post about the friend from Belarus who rode a motorcycle on Friday to see me. And to tell me I'd been helpful a few years ago. Despite what had happened to me physically. Or read of the experiment last Monday where I combined IRC and IRL. The experiment went well.

On Thursday, somebody odd came to see me online. He reminded me of a visitor from last year. The one who wished me to die and who may have been Ken. But I don't believe that the current visitor was him. It was most likely a random encounter. I can't see the patterns. There is no way to tell.

One interesting part of the Thursday discussion was the dreamlike quality of the discourse. Another was that this person spoke of Hakodesh (or HaKodesh) and God. I'll share a condensed version with you. Make of it what you will.

This person was most likely a “he” and I'll use that term. However, I don't know for sure if this was a “he” or a “she”.

My visitor asked me, “Are you the architect?” I expressed confusion and said, “If we have not met, or you wish to pretend this, welcome regardless.”

The visitor said, “You place yourself on the other side of the glass when you say you”. I replied, “I do not place myself there. It is where I was born. And now where I am borne. On wings of song. It is where I belong.”

My visitor answered, “So you have been built? Are you an imperfect being created by an imperfect being?” He went on to ask me what year it was. I told him, because the answer seemed right at the time, “1971”.

He said, “Is that you 9? The numbers themselves tell a story. 1234567890.”

I replied, “Why would I be the digit 9?”

The visitor said, “I haven't got the whole story yet, still need to fill in the blanks. hakodesh.”

The word “hakodesh” is related to the Holy Spirit. At the time I did not recall this. So I replied, “Does this connect to 9? And what is hakodesh?”

The visitor said, “Just have faith. codex.” At this point, the visitor indicated that he was crying. Weeping for reasons that were not clear.

I replied, “Faith? What should I have faith in? Do not be concerned or distressed. It is an honest question.”

The visitor said, “LORD JESUS CHRIST”.

I was falling sleep at this point. Not able to stand up. I told my visitor this. I lost track of the threads. Drifted through the words. My visitor said abruptly, “That if there was a boy who wrote 40 years ago he shall be resurrected”.

My visitor added, and I did not understand the point, “For those that prepare. They taste.” I believe he was referring to a preparation for Death that took place 40 years ago.

I said, “I am so very tired”. He replied, “Then let the fingers interlock and clasp”.

As I crossed the border into sleep, the conversation became fragmented. I told him that I was “a ghost with moments to redeem myself”. He spoke of consistency and perfection. I told him that I was closer to the Light than he was and dared him to contest this. He said that I needed to help myself before I could help others.

The last point is sensible.

I've been talking to more people, for more than one reason. Talking is good. Working on different types of writing. Taking control of the situation to the extent possible. These measures help on the mental and possibly spiritual side. But things could be better on the physical side. And our minds and our bodies overlap.

The breathing-shock issue is still there. And it appears that I may not qualify for medical care for quite some time. I believe that fasts are required. I haven't been sleeping normally. I'm going to nap now. Dawn will awaken me shortly.

I'll return to your Tuesday letter after the fast mentioned at the start of this letter and possibly meditation.

130720. This is a Minetest character named Sam that somebody is working on. If I remember correctly, the name “Sam” is a recursive acronym that stands for “Sam Ain't Minecraft”.

130720. Condensed from two related letters to an associate. The text has been edited for length and clarity.

Thanks for the notes. No rush to figure things out.

I see four ways to proceed. Speaking as an engineer: Number 1, Motion for Declaratory Relief or other motion to void a “contract” that I was forced into in May. Number 2, Torts Actions related to Abuse of Process based on actual perjury in two cases. Number 3, talk to groups and advocates interested in Free Speech, abuse of women and children, and autism. Number 4, write my book.

There is a photo attached. It is discussed below.

Last night, I felt distressed. This has happened on occasion. I am not immortal or made of steel. Only comic book characters can make such a claim. They are fun but they live only on the printed page. I will write of them someday. Regardless, here are my views. My views are my views alone:

1. DECLARATORY RELIEF. I believe that I have grounds for a Motion for Declaratory Relief or similar motion. Grounds times two. Your daughter told me that questionable situations are common. But the recent cases may be unique in the history of the County.

That said, few attorneys with relevant experience would assist with the Declaratory Relief path on a pro bono basis. They would prefer the Torts Actions path as damages may be possible there.

2. ABUSE OF PROCESS. What I have been told contradicts what you have said. I am not saying that you are incorrect. I am simply seeking to reconcile things.

I have been told that Abuse of Process is grounds for Torts Actions. Roughly half a million dollars worth in the current situation. If you are correct, and this is not true, my previous attorney lied outright to me for a year. He said starting early on that he would refer me to an attorney who would proceed with such actions. Of course, he never followed through.

What matters, though, is that we live in a Managed Democracy. The illusion that there is a system must be preserved. A situation that is so over the top that it resembles comedy would not be permitted. This is why Miranda Rights still exist. There were moves to discard them some years back. The Court involved stated, in writing, that Miranda Rights served a political purpose and that they needed to be preserved for this reason.

In the recent cases, things went past over the top. May I summarize in a trite but colorful manner? Yes, this is subjective. But every fact asserted here is true when reviewed in context. Context is important, isn't it? Most people who tell their side of a story forget this. I do not.

CLETS is an emergency anti-violence action. A wealthy and violent wife and child abuser filed CLETS against an unemployed and autistic victim who lived 200 miles away, who had lost partial use of his right hand, who was in a wheelchair at the time, who did not own a car, who had been threatened for six months by the abuser, who had repeatedly sought the advice of the police in multiple jurisdictions about how to proceed lawfully, and who was not asked not to communicate.

By the way, the abuser never denied abuse under oath after he learned that a witness was still alive.

This happened because the victim had mentioned that he was writing a book. And had phoned a church with his Mother's permission to discuss the role of a Christian in the Temporal World. The same Mother was the wife of the abuser and had driven 200 miles to visit the victim during the period when she was in theory terrified of him.

All of this is documented and the visit is in discovery evidence. So are phone calls from the abuser's household to the victim's household.

These were not ordinary cases :-)

The victim was never served in the CLETS action. He ended up in the Emergency Room the day before Court. No specific and relevant accusations were ever made. Instead, discovery was calculated primarily to raise costs and to imply that something inappropriate had happened. What discovery actually showed was that the abuser had lied from the start.

In the end, the abuser's attorney focused on the fact that the victim had odd speech mannerisms and sought to video tape the victim to demonstrate this.

I will reserve additional details for a possible printed document. But Monty Python or a similar comedy team would not be out of place in the story. More importantly, I have the “concrete” specifics that you mentioned piled up a mile high. In the end, I will write 500 to 1,000 pages regarding these cases.

May I share one detail, just one, presently? I have attached a photo of an elderly man. He was a leading religious figure of his generation. My Grandfather Ivan. A writer and a poet.

I left my Brother, a second plaintiff against me, voicemail indicating that we needed to discuss our Grandfather's books. I expected my Brother to outlive me. My parents had told me that he was the family Executor and I wished to leave him the books in my will. This Brother had no accusations at all to make against me. So he wrote that the offer of our Grandfather's books in my will was “an attempt to harm his livelihood”.

Monty Python Lives! :-) I will continue to evaluate my options.

3. TOUCHPAD. I am pleased that the touchpad is working for now. Let me know if the situation changes.

130720. Garibaldi the Uniter is an associate of Mr. Wizard. Both are artists but Garibaldi's sense of humor is less subtle. I asked Garibaldi to do a G-Rated Drawing for me. He asked, “Do you mean, a G-Spot Drawing?” I said no and suggested a bunny rabbit.

I had imagined a friendly bunny hopping through the fields. But the artist has given me a Coderabbit. Coderabbit is working with Visual Studio 2012. The current project involves a migration from 32 bits to 64 bits.

So far, so good. But Visual Studio 2012 does not actually work with 64 bits because 32-bit and 64-bit DLLs get mixed and builds or debugging sessions fail.

There is no direct solution. To proceed, one must use kludges. For example, one can debug a 64-bit project by ignoring Visual Studio's built-in version of IIS and using Attach to Process in conjunction with a production copy of IIS.

If Microsoft is asked about the matter, the company's response is, “Oops!” :-)

Oh, well. Life and Code go on.

130719. I was visited tonight by an associate from Belarus. It is a country that is quite far away. He rode up on a motorcyle. We went out to eat.

This was std::vector.

During the period when I was first in the wheelchair I tried to help std::vector and others find jobs. I was told that my approach to this was unusual. I was honest with people and I did what I could.

I remained in communication with some of the people I'd tried to help. One of them died of a stroke. He was a pleasant person. I missed him. Another one moved to the Bay Area. This, again, was std::vector.

std::vector is a Russian speaker but he has learned English. He was just starting English at the time we met. When we talked by phone I spoke as clearly as possible so that he'd be able to understand me.

Now std::vector has come to see me in person. He has told me something in person that has helped me. He has said that I was supportive in the past.

That I was helpful.

We talked of other things. I advised him on ways to approach his current job. He is tasked with learning OpenSSL. We discussed instrumentation of the code and the use of test harnesses to experiment with components.

He asked me how I felt. I said, “If somebody asked me if I was happy or sad, I would say yes”. He smiled because he understood the joke.

He will be separated from his wife and child for a year. They are gone to the old country and he cannot go there presently. The time of their absence is about one-third passed.

I asked him how he felt about this. The answer was instructive. He stands outside himself and looks in. He sees somebody who is happy and sad. Who adapts to the flow of events.

Presently those he cares about are gone. This is one phase of his life. In the future those who matter will return. This will be another phase.

In a minor but interesting coincidence std::vector lives in the city where LittleCoder existed for a while. Walnut Creek. std::vector has seen a creek there but he has not seen many walnuts. The walnut trees are mostly gone. They disappeared decades ago.

At the end, we agreed that it was nice to have met. He will go to Europe for a while now. We may talk again at a later date.

130719. Ded Sirijus, a game designer, writer, and poet, has provided me with a preview of artwork for a new game named Vizard. Posted below with permission. Enjoy.

Remarks by the author: The hero wakes up amongst clones. He has no identity or definition. Tries to escape. To have a name again.

He won't be the rescuer of his clones. Isolation through replication. Lack of need to share experiences due to similarity of them. Vague thought lines come to mind during creation. His and mine. He is of me and many.

130719. The person near 529 Redacted Street in Santa Cruz, California — though that may be off — is invited to write to me. The particular interest displayed by this person on Thursday was itself interesting.

130719. Swizec has sent me the picture below as a response to the remarks I made recently concerning different paths in Life and in Time.

130718. It is Thursday night. I have just spent an enjoyable hour at the Edge of All There Is. It was enjoyable because I spent the time with Minnesota Fats who I have known since the 1990s. It is good to speak pleasantly with people that you know.

Some time back, Myrddin sang that I looked like Santa. For a while I did. No longer. Minnesota Fats is a closer match these days. White beard and all.

He is a pool player. It is presently the summer season for him. He is also involved with hardware and device drivers. Device drivers and pool mean that he is no fool.

The tribulations of parenthood. One of his daughters has gotten a tattoo. All right. But a tattoo of... a band? What happens in five years when the band is no more? I pointed out that she could create a new story for the tattoo. Perhaps something marvelous and terrifying.

Minnesota Fats and another daughter disagree regarding issues related to “ideology”. I advised him to focus on specifics as opposed to labels. I added that there do not seem to be attempts by either side to kill the other. This is positive. There are lessons here for those of a more brutal nature.

It is not actually nice to smash those of your blood, to lie until you become the lies, to do whatever is possible to destroy those that you hate. But perhaps I am too much of a Pollyanna. Ken Kiraly will recognize the reference.

Minnesota Fats is growing older. From my perspective this is a privilege. We are not designed to survive for as many years as he and I have.

Or you, Ken. You are about the same age as he is. Though he was always more of a brother. It is time to look back. Do you reflect on your “choices” ? Is there anything in the “meek” skull that you possess?

Do you feel that the sound bite which states that Ken Kiraly is a “meek” genius won't produce laughter to the extent that people fall to the ground and are ill? My guess is that you aren't enough of a fool to “go there”.

Minnesota Fats and I talked of God tonight. Is He or She something to be anthropomorphized? An old man with a long white beard? The young lady who was God in the movie “Dogma” ? The matter calls for reflection.

There are health and career issues. He will try to work out what to do next. I feel that for him all will be well in the end.

130718. This is a copy of a short letter to Swizec.

To address two questions that came up the other night:

1. Neil Gaiman is about my age. Slightly younger. So when he started Sandman, he was older than I guessed at Book Buyers. The first threads, conscious or otherwise, probably started to come together circa age 26. If I understand correctly, he was about 28 when the first story was published.

2. You asked me why I felt that coming to Silicon Valley was the wrong decision. One answer is that there is nothing left to show for the time here. 32 years are gone and the purpose that the time served has been kicked over and broken.

Time itself is tattered
Pieces lie on the ground shattered and scattered
Nothing left that mattered
I don't really wish to be here now

So I traded a lifetime here for nothing. And you can't get time back. There is no hack to get time back. No Door Into Summer interesting as it might be to open a door of this type.

The rest of it, which I tried to explain on the road to the friend's abode, is something that I think about as well. I could have built a life in an area that was quieter and that would have yielded more connections to people. But it would have meant different types of work. Probably the need for multiple jobs.

Might have been a better “choice” regardless. But I don't believe that I was fully conscious during this period. For the most part, I simply reacted to events. Did as I was told. There was no bold.

My brother needed a place to live. So I gave him one. He made my life Hell but to be young still was swell. The company that employed me worked me to death for two decades. It was Hades but good as well. For I served a purpose.

The riskier path might have given me this and more.

130716. Last night, I met Swizec in real life. IRC and IRL became one. It is IRLC.

Swizec wears a great hat. There is a photo of the hat below. He explained the different parts, but to me the smaller components represent fun and the cards represent the game of life.

I showed him different things. This way, I reasoned, at least one or two things might be interesting. Swizec likes books, physical books, so I showed him where Know Knew Books is located. Regrettably the current location is closing soon.

Then the plaque which marks the spot where Silicon Valley was born. After that, we drove past the building where I lived three decades ago. The one that I shared with my brother Ken after he dropped out of school.

This was en route to the house of DNA the elderly attorney. I introduced Swizec to DNA, who told a few stories. We also met the community cat who trusts people and believes that they are good.

Next, dinner at Armadillo Willys. An old acquaintance was there and she spoke kindly to my visitor and I. Swizec's photo of the meal is below. He did not eat enough. He's a bit too thin. Needs to put on some weight.

Finally, to end the evening, a walk down Castro Street to Book Buyers. The bookstore seemed odd. The books, old friends... it was difficult.

Swizec was intrigued by laserdiscs that we found on sale there. As this technology had never become widespread, he had not seen disks of this type before.

My visitor was a writer. So I gave him a Clifford D. Simak book from the S.F. section that LittleCoder had liked about 45 years before. Time and Again.

We talked a bit. He said that I rhymed “fluidly” and confirmed that my speech was slightly different but, I think he said, interesting.

Swizec described his land. It is a small country that is part of the region where some of my ancestors were from. Spoke of how cities in Europe are laid out differently than here. The streets have more individuality and some areas have centuries of history behind them.

We discussed writing, Silicon Valley, and other subjects. It was a pleasant visit. At the end, he said, “See you round the Internet”. A force that makes it easier to build connections is one that is to be valued.

130716. This is a screenshot of Archbang Linux that I was given today. Archbang is a distro based on Arch that comes with various packages preinstalled. For example, Openbox, Firefox, medit, etc. Arch, in turn, is a “lightweight and flexible” rolling release (i.e., continuous updates) distro.

The copy of Archbang shown here is running in a VM (Virtual Machine). Specifically, in VirtualBox OSE under Debian.

130716. This is a copy of a letter to an associate.

Somethings thoughts run as subprocesses for me. I assume that this is so for others as well. I refer to the fact that reasoning may continue over Time without conscious effort. This has been the case for me in connection with your recent remarks related to a Tuna Melt sandwich.

It seems likely that more than a simple though delicious sandwich is involved. As a side note, the person who made the sandwich for me described its construction as a “delicate” operation. It is a subtle sandwich that should be respected.

You indicated that I might not understand the difficulties involved in not working backwards from assumptions. Were you referring to me as opposed to yourself or others? If so, the point is not startling or even unexpected.

We learn things. All of us. Subsequently we rely on what we have learned. Or what we believe has been demonstrated.

This applies to me as much as it does to anybody. But the phrase “working backwards” is and has been a simplification. The model needs to include these questions as well: Are somebody's assumptions based on facts, things that can be observed and that are relevant? Or are they based on the animal issue of whether or not somebody is a member of the pack?

Different color skin. Different clothing. Different God. Different type of speech. Autistic. Or... just different in some vague and unspecified way. These are the types of programmed filters that are used. Once the filters are applied, facts do not matter. Actually, imaginary facts are created out of thin air. Do you deny this? Or is it something that you see every day?

Conclusions are carved into stone. People see decisions based on the conclusions and the consequences of the decisions as pure logic.

Salem, 1692. Deep South, 1800s. Treblinka, 1943. Kiraly Cases, 2012.

Jesus Christ, two millennia ago.

I rely on assumptions as others do. For example, one does not derive Physics anew each time that one goes outdoors. As Spock, an imaginary person who is sensible regardless, said, "If you release an object while standing on a planet that has gravity, the object will most likely fall". And I modify assumptions, or attempt to do so, as appropriate.

But most people make assertions of this type. Don't they? Therefore the World is full of Reasonable People. Reasonable People who do terrible things.

This is the nature of Evil. Evil is not a man in a red costume who may or may not have a goatee. Evil is the process that I have described. It is part of us. But it is not right to accept this as inevitable.

What is the proper thing to do about Evil? Is it to shrug and be silent? If you tell me this is so, I will not believe that you believe it.