The current free ebook is located at this link:
http://haggishell.com/ridgeproject.pdf

For details about the ebook, click here.

130115.6. Some additional minor Minetest changes were made on Tuesday night:

Updated IRC, Spleef Arena, and Technic mods. Added Industrial by Raphael.

130115.7. The Angel of Code is working on different types of trees. The results so far are interesting. Here are some pine, sequoia, and willow trees, Minetest style:

130115.8. There's a new Kiraly Cases document that's interesting. Michael Bonetto of Hoge Fenton has probably received it by now.

Michael was hoping to drive up my legal costs further with a bit of bullsh*t. Throughout the Kiraly Cases, it's my understanding that he's never made a settlement offer that didn't demand more than he could get at trial, or Long Cause, which is the equivalent of trial in a CLETS action.

This tends to suggest that Michael isn't operating in good faith. One might almost call it Abuse of Process. By the way, I'd like to hear from torts specialists out there.

Most recently, we made some suggestions to Michael about settlement. To read them, click here. Michael apparently didn't say yes or no. Instead, I'm told that he said to edit the suggestions into a formal document. Then, if the moon was in the right phase, it was possible he'd agree to comment.

There's an old saying. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” My attorney took heed of the proverb. He instructed me to sign a new document that he says Michael isn't expecting.

Michael Bonetto and the abuser he's helping to stop a book, James Kiraly, must now decide whether or not they'll sign the document themselves. The interesting part is that they may feel conflicted about what we propose.

The basic idea, if I understand correctly, is that I've voluntarily agreed to much of the original orders placed on me even though my abuser has misrepresented or outright lied about essentially everything in these cases that's relevant to CLETS.

But we've positioned things carefully. On the other hand, I'm a novice at this. Judge for yourself.

If you're curious about how this type of game is played, you can read the new document at the following link. It's a PDF file so you'll need PDF support:

click here for scope stipulation PDF

Michael Bonetto, if you've read it by now, what do you think? I trust the wording makes it clear that, whether my abuser signs the document or not, he can't have what he wants.

We were never going to agree to a priori limitations on talking to news media, legislators, abuse prevention centers, religious groups, or, actually, to a priori limitations on talking to anybody but protected parties.

Can you get that in Long Cause, Michael? Win or lose, can James Kiraly shut me up once and for all? The same way that he used to shut up a terrified eight year old?

When are you going to tell James the truth? And what did you think would happen when you agreed to an obsessed abuser's demands that you stop a book? A book that wasn't even going to focus on him?

Or have you told James truth and found out that he's sliding into the dementia that took his uncle, John Varsa?

Most importantly, Michael Bonetto, when you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you see a hero? Somebody strong and brave? Tell me about the hero. I wish to write about him.

130115.9. Chronologic.

130114 12:55pm to 7:44pm: Spent much of the day away from home. Traveled by bus to meet with my attorney. Discussed the Kiraly Cases. Then we talked about computer issues related to his firm.

My attorney gave me a snack. I wanted more food afterward so I went ahead and ate a full meal on the way home. The meal was at the buffet again.

130114 7:44pm to 5:00am: Evening was quiet. General tasks.

I went into a mild shock of sorts due to eating. The preceding meal was just two days ago. Saturday 130112. But the effects tonight weren't too bad. Faded by midnight. I should probably eat more often and balance things by eating less at a time.

An online friend told me of a death in his family. It apparently happened Sunday night. We discussed what it meant to him but we didn't get far into mortality or questions about what life is.

Wrote a letter to my attorney; that took a while.

130115 5:14pm to 11:04am: Slept.

130115 11:30am to 5:55pm: At the keyboard most of the time. I slipped into the shock state a few times and needed to take breaks.

130115 5:55pm to 6:45pm: I walked to a local bar I've mentioned before to buy diet colas. The bartender on duty said that I looked thin. That surprised me as my weight loss plateaued at 65 pounds a few weeks ago and he's seen me since then.

I don't think I should eat again for a while. Shock issue today was fairly distinct. But I bought a small bottle of liquid salsa on the way home and drank it later. Salsa Con Queso. Delicious.

130115.10. Latest Minetest changes:

Merged latest upstream engine changes into Minebest; my branch of Minetest. Updated Vanessa world and some Vanessa HDX textures. Added a 3D avatar requested by Baby Face. Updated Pipeworks and Plant Life. Added More Trees. Dropped Conifers; they've been superseded by More Trees.

130115.11. Here's three new screenshots. First, another farm in Octuteam World. This one belongs to Teco. It's located at:

Server: minetest.org   World: Octuteam   Port: 30004
Coords: -182.2,36.7,41.9

This greenhouse is located on Teco's farm at:

Server: minetest.org   World: Octuteam   Port: 30004
Coords: -193.8,33.5,16.5

And here's a classical courtyard that Sgt. Fury is building. Location is:

Server: minetest.org   World: AngelFury   Port: 30000
Coords: -42.1,15.5,542.8

130113.1. Chronologic.

130112 9:01pm to 9:08pm: I'd felt good despite eating food earlier on 130112. Just very tired. But the odd shock state hit at 9:01pm for 7 minutes.

130112 10:28pm to 11:01pm: Breathing shifted into shock state again. Too cold as well. Warmed up. Rested and drink water.

130112 11:01pm to 12:01am: Breathing remained odd but was improved. Worked on tasks.

130113 12:01am to 5:42am: Slept off and on.

130113 5:42am to 7:14am: I felt alert at 5:42am. I thought I'd be wide awake for at least 16 hours. Worked on tasks. But the shock state returned abruptly at 7:14am.

130113 7:14am to 10:48am: Sort of asleep. 10:48am to 11:48am: Hoped to be wide awake for the rest of the day. Worked on tasks.

130113 11:48am to 1:10pm: I tidied up my apartment. 1:10pm to 2:10pm: Went out on minor errands. 2:10pm to 8:20pm: Tasks.

8:20pm to 8:58pm: Needed a break. Walked to a local bar to purchase diet cola and then back. Did not speak much to people today except to a bartender who often addresses me by name. It is nice that he does that.

110113 8:58pm to late: Tasks. Fell asleep at an unknown point. Woke up at 130114 9:54am.

130113.2. This part was written Saturday night while I was in the shock state.

I don't understand what is happening. I will take stock.

I can talk about specific physical, mental, and emotional issues.

Physical: I'm tired. If I eat too much, my breathing changes and I can't sit up. I walk well but I need my wheelchair occasionally. Some fingers are twisted and swollen. They spasm at times. This hurts.

Lost 65 pounds but weight has stabilized there. Fake orange juice is helping but may trigger the breathing issue. I'm covered at times with things that I don't recognize.

Mental:

Emotional: I believe that I may feel distressed. It's difficult to be sure.

Since Christmas, at times, I haven't wanted to be here. It hasn't seemed like a big deal. It's simply being tired in a different way.

In IRC, the symbol ;_; is used to denote tears. Often for the purposes of humorous exaggeration. Not always humorous.

I've seen people use ;_; to express feelings of loss. Of missing somebody who is gone. It hurts when I see that.

Relatively few people will type ;_; for me. But more will do so online than in real life. Because here is where I've been allowed to be real.

I don't know what this was:

Update: On Sunday 130113 I fixed the bed after a week.

I'm writing about pieces. I'll continue to write. But the picture as a whole... the fact that James Kiraly can lie and that it will be difficult to prosecute him... that a wealthy abuser can do this... The words don't seem to be there.

130113.3. A brief exchange between Tactician and myself from Saturday night 130112. No comments today. This is something that I'm saving for future reference.

I said this to Tactician:

I don't know that I will “make it”. But the fact you've made a choice and stayed with it... that you've offered what you've offered... is one of the choices that defines you. Thank you.

Tactician replied:

130113.4. On Saturday 130112 I went to eat at a Santa Clara buffet I've mentioned before. For past photos, click here.

This was my first meal since Tuesday 130118. The manager gave me the meal for free again. He also introduced me to a friend of his who wished advice. I'll call the friend McNally.

McNally is a man in his 60s who's been through some things. This is a former Vietnam vet who did all right after he served. He was apparently worth about $5 million at one point but is close to homeless now.

He owned real estate and this included a church he'd been associated with since he was age ten. It's all gone, even the church. He feels the properties were stolen from him. That people without conscience destroyed him.

The church was founded in 1947. He first attended services there in 1960. He owned the property as an adult and ran it as a charity. Used to feed 60 low-income people each day and distribute clothes to the needy.

People came and stole the property through the types of legal games that are common these days. Games of the types that Hoge Fenton might be familiar with. The church is dead now.

McNally said one thing in particular that caught my attention. He indicated that people who do these things, people similar to the Kiralys, know what they do. It startled me to hear this because Iohannes, my attorney, had said exactly the same thing in December.

I feel that the Kiralys and others like them rewrite facts to make themselves heroes. They literally can't perceive what has happened. Iohannes and McNally say that criminals and thieves know exactly what they do.

Who is correct? Is it both in different cases?

I offered McNally such advice as I could. How to fix his laptop computer. What to do with the Internet. Then I asked him to talk about the church that was dead. About the charity of sorts that he'd run. And why he'd done it.

He said that he didn't believe in salvation by works. That Christ had saved him. But that he was bound to do what was right because it was right. This point, I feel, is where he differed from James and Grace Kiraly.

As he talked of the way things had been, and his attempts to help people, he changed. His voice grew stronger. He seemed younger, stronger, and more confident. He looked like you'd expect a deacon or a preacher to look.

He became the Christian Soldier that he'd been.

130113.5. The Masked Lua offered these thoughts on Sunday:

Just got home from church. Went nice, new members joined.

I usually think of a church as “owned” by the people, ran by the deacons, and taught by the pastor.

Small churches are usually nicer than large ones... Good churches are hard to find. Depends on how one defines a good church, though. I'll put it this way, a church is there to teach, and to help, many churches in our area fail on the last part.

People need help with bouncing checks, bills, almost always will get a little help. If you go to the hospital, our church guarantees to give I forget how much money to you in your sickness.

Our church is like family, as I believe it should be. The church should also teach the truth, not what is pleasing to all the people's ears.

The Catholic Church type, as in intercessor with God, is not needed, but the communion of Christians with one another often is good.

Some do worship at home. It is said a Christian should not forsake the assembly, and while that is true, I don't believe it to apply to people who are unable, or people who are in an area where there is not a “good” church either.

Teach, help, and communion. Though the main thing is show love to each other. Without that, the rest is broke, and have faith in Jesus and His resurrection, without that all of it is pointless.

130113.6. I hadn't seen ParkFate for quite a while. He showed up on Sunday, though, and asked me about death. Edited for length. Additional edits to poem.

<ParkFate> your family are horrible people
* OldCoder shrugs
<OldCoder> They are killing me. It happens.
<OldCoder> I want it to stop

<ParkFate> are you physically weak and ill?
<OldCoder> Read the blog
<OldCoder> Yes

<ParkFate> are you a christian?
<OldCoder> Meaning what?
<ParkFate> do you believe jesus was put on earth by god to lead men and ultimately die for their sins?

<OldCoder> I don't wish to answer
<OldCoder> The answer hurts people either way
<ParkFate> what do you mean “hurts people”
<OldCoder> Either a yes or a no answer
<OldCoder> will leave people feeling betrayed
<ParkFate> I don't understand how
<OldCoder> People may expect me to feel as they do
<OldCoder> What if I do not?

<ParkFate> people are unique and different
<ParkFate> and i find that interesting
<ParkFate> i am curious about you because you are different like me
<ParkFate> and we are so unlike each other
<ParkFate> and i have seen things that seem christian on your blog

<OldCoder> I was raised Fundamentalist
<ParkFate> I think I was raised protestant
<ParkFate> I studied the bible because it was so interesting
<OldCoder> Yes
<ParkFate> when i read Joshua i would get a rush of excitement
<ParkFate> joshua was a warrior!
<ParkFate> he had an army!
<OldCoder> Walls came down
<ParkFate> and innocent people were slaughtered and burned
<ParkFate> anyways, I no longer believe

<ParkFate> i don't understand how you can tell that to a child
<ParkFate> don't think I expect you to think or feel a certain way about anything
<ParkFate> If there is another side I will find you and we will hang out
<ParkFate> and program robot angels
<ParkFate> :)
<OldCoder> Sure
<OldCoder> It's a deal

<ParkFate> can i ask you a personal question
<ParkFate> what are your thoughts on death?
<ParkFate> I would like to talk about it
<OldCoder> You are not asking about death... You are asking about suicide
<ParkFate> no
<ParkFate> suicide is the method
<ParkFate> Death is the end result

<OldCoder> State your question
<ParkFate> i don't want to talk about suicide
<ParkFate> what are your thoughts on death
<OldCoder> I need more context
<OldCoder> I will try to answer
<OldCoder> But I am very literal
<OldCoder> I need more context
<ParkFate> xD

<ParkFate> i feel like that is a very literal question
<ParkFate> i will try
<ParkFate> umm
<ParkFate> are you afraid of death?
<OldCoder> I don't know
<ParkFate> your own specifically
<OldCoder> I think...
<OldCoder> I will drink some water and warm up. About 8 to 10 minutes. I will consider the question as I proceed.
<ParkFate> :) I will be here

<ParkFate> why do you get cold?
<OldCoder> More than one reason. Part of it is, I think, I don't eat food most days.

<ParkFate> I am afraid
<ParkFate> that one day
<ParkFate> i will log on here and you will be gone
<OldCoder> ...

<OldCoder> This is likely
<OldCoder> I am sorry
<OldCoder> It is part of the regret
<ParkFate> this is inevitable
<ParkFate> do not be sorry
<OldCoder> What is inevitable?
<ParkFate> death
<OldCoder> All right

<ParkFate> i run away from difficult things
<OldCoder> How far away?

<ParkFate> from difficult feelings
<ParkFate> i dont know how to deal with them
<OldCoder> You are learning
<ParkFate> Yes

<OldCoder> Will you be well for now?
<ParkFate> im alive :)
<OldCoder> That is not an answer
<ParkFate> i will be well for now
<ParkFate> and i enjoy our conversations
<OldCoder> All right
<ParkFate> i wish i could help you
<OldCoder> Thank you